It’s been just over a week since my sleeve.  I am feeling GREAT!  No idea yet how much weight I have lost.  Friday morning, I go see my PCP about some of the heart complications that popped up after surgery (which are under control now due to the cardiac medications I am on) and I will be weighed then.  Never in my life have I been so excited about stepping on a scale as I am now!!!

The dietitian at the University of Michigan asked me to keep a log of the foods I am eating each day.  She said that will help her to see where I might need to make changes to keep the weight coming off and to keep it from coming back.  But a food log looks so boring….  LOL I decided to “spice it up” by writing down not only what I ate, but how those foods made me feel.  When I started the pre-op liquid diet, I wrote how much I dislike Cream of Wheat.  Yesterday, after not having any since the day before surgery, I wrote how much I was missing it.  I made a packet of the instant stuff with extra milk (to make it thin enough to drink), vanilla protein powder, and a dash of cinnamon.  Oh, it was so yummy!!  The real NSV (non-scale victory, for those who may not know the term!) came, though, when I realized that the one packet was enough for me for two meals!!  NEVER would have believed that a full packet would satisfy me, let alone just half a packet!

So then I went upstairs to get ready for my day.  I slipped on a blouse that I have always worn with a tank underneath because the blouse doesn’t button comfortably around me.  It DIDN’T button comfortably around me, I should say!!  This morning, I can button it and there is even some room!  The weight is coming off!!!!  Oh, I cannot tell you how excited I am!!

On Monday, I had a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy. I wish I could say that I feel great and that I have absolutely no regrets. But, OA only works when you are completely honest. And in all honesty, I’ve been wondering a lot about my decision this week. Not that there is anything I can do about it. What’s done is done, and this surgery cannot be reversed.

First, let my share my pre-surgery stats. My weight as of Thursday, May 19 was 425 pounds. Yes, I know that is a rather larger number, but I feel good about it. Why? Because on the day I started my liquid-only diet, my weight was 445. A twenty pound loss in 10 days—without feeling like I was depriving myself—is pretty awesome! And when I think that it was May 19 when I started on a food plan and I have not deviated from that plan—WOW! Sixteen days of abstinence feels pretty good!

My body measurements as of Saturday, May 21, 2011:

• Neck 16.5 inches
• Bicep 21.25 inches
• Bust 60.25 inches
• Waist 61.5 inches
• Hips 73.5 inches
• Thigh 34 inches

I was a little bummed that I didn’t get weighed at all while I was in the hospital. I have to see my PCP next week, and I will get a weight then. It is gonna drive me halfway insane not knowing my weight until then!

The surgery went well. I was a little scared at first. There are risks with any surgery. A part of me was concerned that I might not survive the surgery. But I told my husband on the way to Ann Arbor, “I am going to die if I don’t do something. At least if I go on the table, it will be because I was trying to make my life healthier.” I have purple marks on my belly where the doctors could have made incisions—six different places. But one of those places wasn’t needed. The incision areas are itchy now. They were just glued shut, no stitches or anything. As they heal and the glue dries more and more, it itches more and more. But I am being good and not picking at it or anything.

The problem happened Tuesday morning. A nurse came into my room to check my vital signs around 5:30 or so. My blood pressure was high (not a big surprise as it has run high for a while now—and is one of the reasons I wanted the surgery) so she returned with a syringe of something to help bring that down. Almost as soon as that medication went into my IV, I felt odd. I was hot all over, sweating when I’d been comfy before, and my heart was racing. I felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. I told my husband who told the nurse who told the team of doctors…. An EKG was ordered immediately and I was moved from the general surgical floor to a room in the cardiac unit where my heart could be monitored more closely. They told me my heart had gone into a fib—arterial fibrillation. The way I understand it, part of my heart was beating too fast and the other part was not beating fast enough. There was concern that possibly my sleeve was leaking (that was ruled out with the swallow study, which showed everything inside was just as it should be.) The doctors insisted it had nothing at all to do with the medication that I’d been given for my blood pressure. Still not sure if I believe that, but OK. I was told that this is a normal complication of surgery near the heart muscle, but that they were rather surprised to see it in a woman my age. Even though I’d been prepared to walk within hours of the end of my surgery, I was not allowed out of bed. The doctors wanted me to get into a normal heart rhythm before I moved much.

I was put on medications right away to bring my heart back into a normal sinus rhythm. It didn’t work as quickly as hoped. Actually, I think it was the third type of medication they tried that actually worked. Because it took so long to get it under control, I expected at least one extra day in the hospital.

Imagine my surprise when the surgical intern asked me Wednesday morning if I’d like to go home that afternoon! Once my heart rate was under control, I was able to get up and walk around without problems. After I passed the swallow study, I was put on clear liquids and I tolerated that rather well. The intern wanted to advance me to full liquids and said if my tummy tolerated that OK, I could leave Wednesday afternoon. It went well and I was home with my husband and sons by 5:00.

I did have one other problem while in the hospital. All of my medications need to be either crushed or in liquid form for 2 months, standard procedure for bariatric surgeries. They ordered a liquid version of my anti-depression medication. The problem is that it was flavored with peppermint, and I am allergic to peppermint. Knowing that most liquid medications have a nasty taste, I just took this in one swallow. So I didn’t notice the peppermint taste until after the entire dose was down. Not that it stayed down. The nurse stood beside me, rubbing my back as it all came back up. She felt so horrible because she knew I was allergic to peppermint, but had no idea the medication was flavored with it. The next morning, we tried opening the capsule and sprinkling it on my food. That has such a disgusting taste that I can barely get it down. So now I am waiting for my psychiatrist to call and let me know what to do. I’d love to go without the pills until my tummy heals enough to be able to tolerate taking pills, but I am not sure that is a very good idea. Maybe I can mix it with sugar-free chocolate pudding. Everything tastes better with chocolate, right?

Every now and again, I see something on Facebook that really catches my attention. This week, it was an ad on the side of the page. The ad was for a program called “Step by Step.” (And no, it has nothing to do with New Kids on the Block. Thought I should point that out for those of you who know my NKOTB fascination!) This is a healthy living challenge sponsored in part by the local hospital. The goal is to promote better food choices, exercise, and a smoke-free lifestyle for people in Jackson County, Michigan. I thought about it briefly before I took the plunge and signed up for the challenge.

It doesn’t “officially” start until May 1. Still, I am starting to make some changes. Like adding fruit to at least one meal each day and adding vegetables to at least one other. And I am moving more. Yesterday, I set a timer for 10 minutes, ushered my sons out of the house and started walking. When the timer went off, we turned around and headed back home. I had planned to take the dog, too, but he busted his leash. UGH. I thought trying to walk a lively black lab would help to raise the intensity of the exercise. But, just walking was better than what I normally do, which is sit at home, thinking, “You know, I really should exercise.”

Today, I did another of the small suggested movements on the site. I put on one of my 1980’s CDs and danced while I was cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, and making dinner. That was so fun! And it felt good.

Something that I have been doing lately is working. I saw a woman Monday night who I haven’t seen in a couple of weeks. She said that I looked good, that she can tell I am losing weight, and that I just seem to glow. Yea! It felt good that someone could see a change. I know I have been feeling a change. Clothes that were much too tight last summer are starting to fit!

I had a small victory in my battle against my weight this week. I slipped on a pair of slacks that I have worn in the past, slacks that about 2 months ago were too tight and 3 weeks ago fit just right. When I wore them on Monday, they were too big! I didn’t notice it at first. I noticed that they felt very comfy around my waist. But as I walked around WalMart in those slacks, I kept having to pull them back up—they were slipping off of my hips! My big, huge Avery hips are shrinking!

Now, I am not insane enough to think that I will ever have anything other than Avery hips. But it feels so good to know that maybe those Avery hips don’t have to be big, huge, and wide for the rest of my life!

Recently, I had my psychological evaluation at the University of Michigan for my weight loss surgery. One question I the doctor asked was, “If you are not approved for surgery, what will you do?”

An interesting question. It’s one I had not thought about before. And to be honest, it is a question I have not been able to get out of my mind since it was asked.

The answer I gave was that I would be upset, but I hope that I would be able to keep with me what I have learned in the weeks I have been preparing for surgery. I’ve been eating healthier and seeing a big difference in my energy level. I’d like to think that even if I do not get approval from the review committee to have the surgery, I will keep these lessons with me and keep building on them.

Truth be told, I am pretty sure I know what my immediate reaction would be: I’d break down in tears and grab the nearest comfort food I could find.

Is it a good thing that I know this about myself? I suppose it is. But I am not sure that knowing this, that recognizing that I would handle that disappointment by turning to food is enough to stop me from doing it.

I know that I can’t do this alone. I know that it will take the help of God for me to ever be able to handle this addiction to food.

Addiction to food. Funny. I know that is what is going on with me, yet it seems odd. Food is something that is needed for life. How can something that I need to have in order to live be the thing that is slowly killing me?