My Choice

My son Andru, 8 years old

My son Andru, 8 years old

I would like to start by saying that I am not opposed to health care reform. Even with the health insurance I have, the out-of-pocket expenses can get very out of hand. If the United States Government can pass legislation that will bring these costs under control, I am all for it.

What I am not in favor of is using tax payer money to fund abortion or abortion services. Abortion may be a choice for some, but it is not for me. I choose to not pay for an abortion for anyone, for any reason. No matter what health care reform is passed, I want abortion and abortion funding to be fully excluded. It is not up to me to pay for the choices of another.

I am the mother of four children—three living and one who went to live in Heaven before her life here on Earth could even begin. Though there is not a day that goes by when I don’t have a thought of that little one, she is not the child I want you to know about now. Instead, I’d like to tell you about my oldest son.

My husband and I had been married for six months when we found out I was pregnant. We were scared and ecstatic at al once. Because of health issues, I’d been told it would be near impossible for me to ever become pregnant. I thanked God every day for proving those doctors wrong.

My pregnancy was normal for the first few months. Then I listened to my doctor’s advice and had what he called the Triple Test done. This is a test that looks for genetic abnormalities, among other things. Shortly after having the test, I received the devastating news that the test indicated “a high possibility” that my child had Down’s syndrome. The nurse who called me said an appointment with a specialist had been made for the following day. When I asked why so quickly, she replied, “We need to get this done before it is too late to abort.”

Hearing that my child might not be the perfect, healthy child I had always dreamed of was bad enough. But hearing the thought my child might not deserve to live was more than I could bear. At the time, I was not walking as closely with God as I should have been. Still, I prayed for my baby. I told God that I would not, no matter what, abort that child. My husband agreed with me. God had begun the pregnancy and He alone would end it. I knew that I could not care for a special needs child on my own. I also knew that with God on my side, nothing was impossible.

We went for the amniocentesis. This is not the most comfortable of tests, and the doctor had to use three different needles before he could get enough fluid. When he was about to try for the third time, I prayed for God to guide the hand of the doctor. I turned my head to the sonogram monitor and watched as the needle went in. Then I watched as what looked like a hand grabbed the needle, pulled it into place, and then pushed it back out when there was enough fluid in it. That brought tears to my eyes! I knew that God really was looking out for my baby then.

My OB called me a week later with the test results. Unfortunately, I was out when they called and when I got home the office was closed. I called the next morning only to learn the results had been misplaced. UGH!!! They said to call back at lunchtime if I hadn’t heard before then. So I drove my niece to preschool. On the way home, I was listening to a Carman CD. The song “Lazarus, Come Forth” came on. I thought about how amazing it would be to have been there, to have seen Lazarus walk out of his tomb. Just then, I heard a voice, a very loud, strong, calm voice say, “I raised Lazarus and I will heal your baby.” I pulled off to the side of the road and just let the tears fall. I’d never actually heard God’s voice before, and I haven’t heard it since. Yet there is no doubt in my mind that God spoke to me at that moment!

The child that I was advised to abort due to the possibility of birth defects is now 8 years old. At the moment, he is in the backyard, playing with his younger brothers and his dog. I can hear his laughter floating in through the open windows. Andru has big plans for his future. He plans to be a missionary, to share the love of Christ with everyone he meets. In fact, he does that now. I have even heard him “preaching” to his stuffed animals.

When I think of all I would have missed out on if I had listened to the doctors, it breaks my heart. How many other women are there who go through the same thing? How many think that abortion is the answer, and have to live with that regret for the rest of their lives?

I do not expect my story to put a stop to the practice of abortion. My prayer is that you will see what the world would be missing if one woman—your mother, your sister, your wife, your daughter—had chosen abortion, and that the realization of that will make you understand the need for government to not fund abortion on any level.

Posted on July 23, 2009, in Life. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

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  1. Pee Wee Hamilton

    Lynn, I am in total aggreement about the abortion issue. I base my belief on the word of God, the bible, is my authority. You’ve written a Godly accurate and correct article. Your son is adorable.

    God bless you and your family.

    Pee Wee

  2. Janet Elaine Smith

    Very well put, Lynn. Like they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So glad your little one is here to bless the world. We never know what those little babies that never see the light of day could have been.
    Janet Elaine Smith

  3. Teri B. Clark

    Lynn – It just shows that as miraculous as modern medicine is, there is always something more miraculous.

  4. Lynn, isn’t it great that you had a choice?

    I understand not wanting your money to go for things which you find morally repugnant. I find Bush lying us into war with Iraq morally repugnant. I shouldn’t have to pay for it! Except I do. I don’t get a choice. There are some things which we don’t get a choice about.

    It’s great to know that you CHOSE to have your son. But by not wanting to possibly pay for anyone to make a different choice you’re saying something really ugly, that YOUR choice is the only choice, meaning by which that there is no choice at all. That YOU should get to choose for everyone. Except that you don’t. You don’t get to choose for everyone. You don’t live their lives. You don’t know their medical history. You don’t get to choose.

    What’s more, what if I think it’s morally repugnant to bring a severely disabled child into the world? What if I don’t want to pay the tens of thousands of dollars for his complicated birth, the millions for his lifetime care? Shouldn’t you, who alone makes that choice also shoulder the burden of his care alone? It’s your CHOICE, after all. Great that your kid was born healthy, but what if he wasn’t. Why should I have to pay for his lifetime of care?

    The chances of reproductive services being covered in whatever health plan we get are essentially nil, due to people with views that go no further than the ends of their own noses. This will highly encourage more and more medical plans to drop coverage for women who already have reproductive coverage. SO not only will you not be paying for it, but people who want to pay for it won’t be able to get it. I suspect that’s your goal, for reproductive services not to be available to any woman who is not rich enough to travel to another country (or to NY state) to get care.

    I’m not going to run out any time soon as get an abortion, but I think the person best suite to make the choice is the pregnant woman. Not you. Not the government. The woman. I’m willing to pay to give someone else the freedom that I expect to be accorded to me. After all, where there is no access–and money is the prime limiter of medical care in our system–there is no freedom, there is no choice.

    Isn’t it great that you had a choice?

    • thanks, but no thanks!

      The point of this article, I believe, if I am reading correctly, is not to say that reproductive services should not be covered…it’s to say that abortion should not be something that should be a covered service that taxpayer money should go for…time and again, I have seen women use abortion as a method of birth control, rather than taking responsibility for their bodies and “choices” beforehand…that to me is reprehensible. And I should not have to pay for their irresponsibility…

      Sure, the war in Iraq was not agreed upon by everyone, however comparing national security to irresponsible choices is like comparing apples and oranges…it’s just not anywhere near the same. I am not willing to pay to give anyone else the freedom to choose what to do with your body…if you want to be pro-choice, don’t involve me or my finances…

  5. I’m not in favor of abortion, but I want it legalized. I have only one reason for this. There are women that will get one at any cost and that includes the backyard butchers. For that reason alone I want it legalized but fully sanctioned. There had better be a very good reason for it and only the ones at risk of doing it in an alley should be allowed. Alas that can’t be judged so we have to do it like it is now. Should we pay for it? Under those conditions, probably. Will this issue come up under a national health plan? No. When it does, they will again allow prayer in school, lower taxes on the middle class, tax the rich more, and send bailout money to the people and not to the CEO’s for billion dollar bonus payouts.

    We need an affordable health plan that works and that is only when doctors and insurance companies care more for the people and less for the money. It ain’t gonna happen! The almighty buck rules.

    • Lynn McMonigal

      Unfortunately, Ron, the issue of abortion HAS come up in bills about health care reform. Lawmakers are smart enough not to use the word “abortion” in the bills. Instead, they are using vague words like reproductive health services, family planning services, and comprehensive health services. It all sounds good, but it covers much more than just normal, healthy prenatal services. All I am asking is that abortion and abortion funding be explicitly removed from all legislation. It is not making abortion illegal–only making it so that tax payers are not paying for the choices of others.

  6. Nichole Osborn

    Lynn, I love this article. I teetered on the edge with my oldest son. I was 18, a freshman in college, and maddly in love with my career path. I loved my boyfriend but not as much as my future career. Half way into the first semister I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend was at work so I couldn’t call him. I called one of my sorority sisters. She came over and we talked. I was so scared. She made an appointment for me at the Planned Parenthood on campus. It was for two days later. My class schedule and boyriend’s work schedule clashed so if I was going to tell him it wouldn’t be until the weekend when he came to take me home, which was four days away. When the day came for y appt. I cried all morning, I barely made it through my morning classes. By lunchtime I was in hysterics. My appt. was at 2pm. I couldn’t do it! I’m so glad that I didn’t, not to say that it was easy, but my boyfriend and I were married 3 weeks after my 19th birthday. Erick was born 2 months later. March will be our 15th wedding ann. So cherish Dru like I cherish Erick, God has big plans for both of them. BTW congrats on the newspaper picking up the article!

  7. child custody attorney

    Great site, I now have you bookmarked to come back again.


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